I met a real hero yesterday

My birthday this year was a blessed one. I met a hero.
A real hero. And real heroes are mostly unsung.

Meet Mahesh Yadav. One unsung hero. A Karma-yogi; making the world a better place; without making much noise about it.

7 years ago, this man adopted 4 HIV infected orphans. Today, his house is home to 17 such kids. These 17 orphans got infected with HIV at birth.

And till Mahesh entered their lives, most of these orphans were being managed by relatives. These so-called guardians were finding these kids to be nothing more than an unprofitable investment, and so were simply waiting for the inevitable to happen. To quicken the relief, some of these guardians had even stopped the kids’ mandatory 2 tablets that supported immunity.

And then Mahesh stepped in. He turned his house into a shelter; now called ‘Sparsh Balgram’.
These 17 kids have found a home, and all the love that one hopes for from it.

Mahesh doesn’t want recognition, fame, likes, status, wealth. In a remote corner of this city, this man is quietly dedicating his life to a cause. He is happy simply giving. Probably because he knows that happiness lies in giving.

He’s the first selfless man I have met. His wife; the second.

An important thing to note: Mahesh is the happiest person I have ever met. It’s because his life is all about giving. You can’t miss his smile; it never leaves him. It stands proof to the fact that happiness can only be found in selflessness.

The world is dying of selfishness. The selfless are full of life.

To know the man who's nothing less than a god, visit him. His past that brought him here is another chapter altogether.

Anyone can visit this place in Khadki (Kirkee, Pune) Please call him in advance, and ask him what's needed at his place. (He’ll tell you; could be something as small as a soap bar, or could be some time with the kids.)

Just one caution: Don’t go there for a photo-op.

Some food for thought: Here are you and I; fighting to secure our futures; stresses and worries and questions and anxieties galore. And here’s this man, breathing the same air we do, whose happiness is off the charts; although there’s hardly a complete assurance of the next meal for them. But for 17 years, he’s managed. Because he knows something we don’t. He knows a Universal Law; that the Universe takes care of those who live to serve. Help regularly comes in, help runs his finances. Help comes from people like you and I.

Most of us are existing. This man is alive. Most of us can never do what he is doing. But we can acknowledge. And maybe contribute.

PS: Many thanks to my friend Komal Jain for gifting me this experience, an experience that gifted me a lesson. 

The Slow Death of Traditions: Who's to blame?

Today is the epic Mahalaya Amavasya (No moon day)… termed ‘Pitru Paksha’ (Fortnight for the ancestors; Pitru: Ancestors; Paksha: fortnight’). The preceding 16 days are observed to pay homage to our ancestors.

 

But it’s the day today that’s of special significance. For this day, Hindu tradition prescribes a feast to be prepared for departed souls. (The logic here is that one meal dedicated from the Earth can suffice them for 365 days up there; because 1 day on Earth lasts for 365 days in the outer Realms.)

It’s a great tradition, far above symbolism, as well proven are the metaphysics involved.

Not surprisingly, my mother has been at it since dawn. The feast is lunch: 4 different vegetables, pakodas, curry, basundi and what not… (Enquiring for breakfast seemed suicidal, but that’s beside the point here.)

Now…

Mom’s making lunch. She doesn’t have time. She’s a homemaker who still has got her own daily list to defeat. But like so many other homemakers, she’s managing. In the name of tradition, she is. Every year. Necessary? Necessary to stick to each item in the prescription list, no matter what? Necessary to go the whole nine yards against rising household activities?

But an even bigger issue is this…

As she battles it out in the kitchen against deadlines, and the prescriptions of tradition, a concern is gripping her harder as each occasion passes by. Less a concern, more fear: “Will the incoming generation continue upholding the holiness?’’

The answer is simple. No.

Against all the genuine logic of our traditions, we incoming generations are not inclined to keeping these traditions aglow. For reasons very evident:

We have a habit of asking ‘Why’. We want to know the logic behind customs and practices. And with answers not very forthcoming, a credibility gap has ensued.

Secondly, times are changing at a blinding pace.

And the time that we have at hand for ourselves today is at it least. Me-time is at a premium. Every entity today; individuals, couples and families; every entity leaves the house each morning to earn not just a living, but also an identity.

Putting the truths of both contemporary generations together, it’s hardly a surprise that the incoming tide of youth find themselves increasingly repellent of these traditions, irrespective of their glory and veracity.

   

But there’s hope. And I expect my senior generation to act while it lasts.

Don’t expect the political class and the system to lift a finger; they are aware, and they will only do what comes easiest to them: adapting; and modifying their strategies in response to the changing landscape.

But if the traditions are to be saved, then it is only up to the current senior generation.

What can be done? A simple take:

The senior generation needs to accept the need to dilute rigidity, and chances are bright that they’ll see traditions survive the wheel of time.

It is the inflexibility of traditions that confront the time-pressed youth, and this has put every tradition at the risk of complete obliteration. The youth are consumed folks. If traditions are to co-exist with contemporary lifestyle, dilutions must be endorsed. There must be liberty handed down.

The senior class must willingly supervise the logical bending of diktats; else the incoming generations might just completely do away with them to protect their convenience.

Malady of the Middle Finger

Freedom of expression is non-negotiable. But its misuse is clawing away at the fabric of our society.

Before the grip of the moment loosens itself off me, let me share of this morning's malady of the middle finger.

My objective of not leaving land for the seas has been to help others bring out their best potential from within, but evidently a bigger overhaul is warranted to help people push back their worst.

Just this morning, an elderly friend of mine was driving me to the other side of city. All those who leave their nest and join the morning traffic don’t really need a description of the traffic situation. Chaos. Every morning. And today was just another day.

So at the BMC circle off Law College road, traffic was as usual. Immense. Uncontrolled. Cars and bikes were threatening each other for space to squeeze themselves through. And just there, dead ahead of me, amidst this pandemonium had halted this student. On a black moped. Aged no more than 17. It doesn’t matter whether boy or girl. This is about basic humanity.

Now, the interesting part started when this seemingly urbane student just couldn’t fight the urge to type into a cellphone. As we were right behind this collegian, we thought of giving a moment. But the cars behind us couldn’t wait and I won’t blame them. So my friend honked. Once. This student didn’t seem to realize. Honker again. Longer. This student turned around and showed the middle finger. To a 40 year old lady. And left.

Now, situations happen. Tempers fly. The roads rage us all.
But a few things must be noted:
Although this elderly friend of mine driving doesn’t look 40, she definitely doesn’t look 17 either; to fit into this student’s peers so to be able to digest this incoherent slang.
This urge of mine should not whiff of moral policing. I have my own reservations when the two words are used together. But we cannot have anarchy gets its foot into the door an inch a day.
We can all dismiss this call to be too silly to warrant any attention, we can go back and stick our heads in the sand. But can anyone tell me why things won’t get worse?
I go to schools and colleges to try and motivate, but evidently a lot more is required. A lot more is required to simply uphold a sense of respect for fellow citizens.
The conscience of our ever-capable students must be gingerly woken up to the fact that sharp demeanours can blunt off even sharper potentials.
And I realize my own myopia. All this while, I have been trying to touch lives of individuals and small groups, without really opening my eyes to the bigger picture. And the truth on the streets seems to be a far cry from all the decorum that’s maintained in a closed auditorium across the stage. The landscape needs an overhaul.

A bit too much as flown out of unrestrained freedom. This Genie is evil. This Genie needs to get back into the bottle.

Pawns of Porn

None of us watch it, but still India ranks 4th in porn viewership

Doors locked. Windows barred. Pillows set. Lights out. Alone. And the august company of a dimly lit computer screen.     

Solitude and internet form the porn addict’s survival kit.                                                                                And thus resumes another grueling session of single-handed browsing with the other one engaged in self abuse.                                                                                                                                                          

But this scene should not produce dread as it should not be an unfamiliar one. Porn in some form can be found lurking around most homes. Most wives and other family members either accept it, or chose to ignore it.

Case in point, close to 47.5 per cent of Indians log on to the porn website ‘Pornhub’ from their desktops, while 49.9 per cent use their mobile phones. After the US and UK, Pornhub's third highest Android traffic comes from India, while Indians make up the fifth highest number of daily visitors to the website. Most searched word on Google from India is “Porn.”

This is love for porn. And it is pandemic in urban India. Porn addiction especially among the urban youth in India has reached an extreme grotesque contour.   

         

A typicality of this addiction is its similar way of luring the prey into its clutches to that of the anathema tobacco, as I mentioned in an earlier article : Sleeping with the Enemy (http://the-feathers-ruffled.blogspot.in/2015/05/sleeping-with-enemy.html) 

The above mentioned 47.5 % of Indians should know how it started. The Youth is most vulnerable to porn addiction. And that’s when porn gets its foot in the door. It then slowly but steadily enters your routine life. You soon start paying it a regular visit; hooked you are. Let alone quitting, you start hunting for more graphic porn. One website takes you to another in your quest of closure; closure for your earned fantasies and fetishes. Over a period of regularly absorbing porn, you start growing numb to the images you see. You can’t get the same high you need. So you stoop lower to porn that you found demeaning earlier; as a junkie needs a greater dose to achieve the same high. Coz you are now desensitized. Eventually, even the most graphic porn doesn't excite you anymore. You become desperate to feel the same thrill again, but you can't find it. You, my friend are addicted. No hint of the problem had raised its ugly head earlier, but now the damage is being done; just like any cancer. At this stage, most realize they have a problem, but porn has taken them over. And addiction by itself,

is one problem, with several attached.

Porn eats away at a man’s healthy sexual solace slowly, subtly and destructively. Sexually, his expectations and ideas become twisted. The women displayed in these acted-out scenes belong to a very narrow part of the wide spectrum of how real women look. How can anyone keep indulging in fantasies about these images engineered to lustful perfection and not begin to recede from his own wife? The line of difference between love and lust fade away. Porn has the dark potency to make a healthy sexuality in a marriage lose its lustre. It becomes a substitute for a healthy relationship of love and intimacy, albeit its emptiness. It gets one to believe in absurd possibilities; in the lack of consequences of having casual sex with anyone, anytime & anywhere. Porn teaches men to find it enjoyable to abuse women. It makes us acutely insensitive to making love.

But then, just as I had mentioned in http://the-feathers-ruffled.blogspot.in/2015/05/sleeping-with-enemy.html , you are not to be completely blamed for hitting rock-bottom. Just like those tobacco companies which want to see you hooked, we have their equally diabolic counterparts; the porn companies. Your addiction is obviously great for their business. They work precisely to keep you coming back for more. Do you think they care about the havoc raised in your family, the dent made in your self-esteem, the desolation you have ended up in? The porn makers’ make their living when you are lured to their websites, stay there, and keep coming back again for more.

Porn has only one purpose, to bring profits to its makers. It is not made to educate, but only to sell. Therefore, with continued research about the male brain, these companies produce visually stimulating products to give you a quick and strong turn-on, which in turn brings you back craving for more. They spend billions in creating, advertising and marketing their products just to entrap you.

Having overcome our ignorance and naiveté about this sinister plot, it should no longer be astonishing that they succeed in their objective; more often than not.

Now mostly the porn viewing session, if uninterrupted, ends in masturbation and orgasm. This makes the porn-producers happier, not because you have now endorsed their product, but because orgasm releases chemicals that imprint this very process which was used to arrive to its end. If porn was the process, guess where would the naïve male viewer come again for his sexual release?

Porn arouses - that's what it's designed to do.  Porn is a lie. A sham.

Porn is War against Women.

Don’t get…Torn by Porn.

                                                                                                                                                                By Yogiraj Khanwelkar